I’m finishing a 300 page story that in one of its themes deals with a man creating and falling in love with a robot; but, one who acquires a real body. Some of the chapters are already here on this website, its called The Carneeg and it will be out this year…… it looks like I was a bit more prescient than I might have known! Its now a reality as reported by Breibart!



Here is an interesting follow up from Breibart too:

In March, it was revealed that a Chinese chatbot had been told “I love you” nearly twenty million times, and in October, it was reported that sexual conversations with artificial intelligence were on the rise, with one A.I. CEO claiming that his virtual assistant “Robin” is used by “teenagers and truckers without girlfriends” for up to 300 conversations a day.

“This happens because people are lonely and bored,” said Robin Labs chief executive Ilya Eckstein. “It is a symptom of our society.”

Artificially intelligent sex robots are becoming increasingly more common, with new features and dolls frequently being announced.

In March, Breitbart Tech reported on a sex robot that includes a working artificial G-spot, and just a month prior, “RealDoll” also revealed their plans to create more realistic sex dolls with customizable personalities.

Earlier this month, a report was published that attempted to discuss the issues related with the rise of sex robots, including social isolation, love, prostitution, and pedophilia.


Transgender Suicide Attempt Rates Are Staggering – Why?


GENDERLESS: Last night at our meetup we talked about a “new” term for gender non-identification. Some young people want to do away with any description of LGBQT… etc. Would this be good or bad? First of all wearing a badge identifying your “sexual preferences” seems unnecessary anyway. We have two physical sexes despite Caitlyn’s confusion, it is male and female. What you choose to do in your bedroom with your sex is your affair and no one else’s! It does not take away your physical sex, that was given at birth despite what you choose to do with it. Surgery can make it appear that way but your genetics still tell what you are. So, as I see it, we each have one of two genders; however, that does not negate what we chose to do with that gender, MFLGBQT ?


GIVE LIFE A CHANCE: As for non-identifying gender boundaries and making it a spectrum, this seems to lead to confusing practices like parents deciding their 7 year old boy is really transgender and “helping” him transition. See the National Geographic cover picture –> https://tinyurl.com/gktes3p (here Nat Geo explains why they did the right thing…) It seems to me that children have to figure things out on their own sexuality and be given time to do so not have someone start feeding them hormone shots or surgical “fixes.” A good reference to this understanding is “Psycho Cybernetics” by Maxwell maltz. Read this to see why surgery is not a solution for children and probably even adults! The childhood practice of gender identification with toys, activities, clothes etc is valuable in that it helps children learn who they are. Clothing, activities toys that are gender specific help what has always been normal development (even in prehistoric times).  After age 18 or so, after lots of experience, if someone really feels they are LBQT, then God bless them, and may they not be unhappy in their choice or abused for it!


SUICIDE: Taking away boundaries by erasing names does not make sense, it makes confusion. Suicide rates tell us about people’s unhappiness with themselves. It is not the responsibility of society to love and accept any and all spectrum of deviations, surgical modifications or personal choices. It is probably society’s responsibility to be civil and respectful of differences; however, not something to be forced on children in school. The feedback (good or bad) from other children, in childhood, is essential to developing and choosing identification. Children’s play is not just learning coordination, it is role playing that helps them define themselves!  Physical violence or social media stalking … is NOT acceptable. I am not talking about this. Plants and people need night as well as sunshine to grow. We need to lose and win at sports, not get a reward for showing up.



PRIDE DOES NOT NEED SURGERY – THE NEW NORMAL?: Caitlyn Jenner’s remark about being the “new normal” is nonsense. A normal is something that is common and expected by society or the rest of the animal kingdom. Pride is evidence in the posture of a lion as seen on the left here. Caitlyn is a surgical aberration.  Dr Maxwell Maltz described, in his first surgical experience, doing a nose job for a lady, who believed she would be beautiful after a nose job.  When he was proudly unveiling her new beauty she remarked “I don’t see any difference.”  This was because she was unhappy with who she was and the nose was just justification. By contrast at a party one evening he offered to correct a facial scar for a man who had been cut by a dueling sword.  The man was offended and refused.  He said, “I earned this scar dueling! Why should I have it removed?”  His scar made him beautiful. I think Bruce Jenner should be watched for suicide tendencies. He cannot love himself if he was willing to pay so much to be mutilated.


SELF RESPECT: Civility in adulthood is, I believe, an underlying premise of America as a melting pot. I believe that harassment of sexual choice must stop. However, suicide rates would best decline if people were inwardly truly proud of their choices. Gay Pride, a beautiful concept, needs to figure this out for their brothers and sisters. If that can become a reality, society will not have to change to meet this need, it will simply become a reality. I have known a good number of proud, special, sucessful “gay” people in my life and my life is that much richer for this experience. Many of  today’s gay people are special, especially the ones who learn to love themselves despite the childhood cruelties we all suffer (gay or not). There is wealth in diversity. Who is stupid enough to  strive for poverty?

ABOUT TRANSGENDER SUICIDE RATES:   http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/transgender-suicide/

Would you like your A.I. with or without consciousness?

Google “geniuses” are telling us that we are 12 years away from an A.I. that is more “intelligent” than human beings. What does this mean?  Are they right?  In common use, people define the word intelligence with many different expectations despite how dictionaries try to expound upon its classical definition.  Intelligence is a word invented by academics to explain a predictable phenomena that can be graduated like a fever thermometer. Its most succinct definition reads as follows “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.”  I like that  definition as it is easy to utilize.  However, defining I.Q. in this way fails our unconscious expectations of its application being performed judiciously. So it fails  us seriously when that it does not encompass creativity and other facets of applying knowledge such as doing so in a way that does not create collateral damage. Consider as an example the hand-1571851_640wonders of pharmaceuticals that stop one disease and create two or three new issues…. you know what I mean, you see the commercials. We all wonder if this is intelligence.  At least some times it seems to be so when an antibiotic works and saves your life.  Of course if a fluoroquinolone and your tendons tear from its use crippling you, you are not quite as pleased.

People born with higher I.Q.s do learn faster, in some cases much faster.  They can often apply what they learn quickly and even effectively.  If we create and A.I. that can learn and apply what it has learned quickly and effectively will that mean in is smarter than a human?  Of course we now have to define “smart.” I chose smart, for fun, and because that grasps the popular meaning of intelligence that is more generalized.

Actually I am skeptical that we will have a “true” A.I. anytime soon, at least the type that Isaac Asimov wrote about and endeared his readers to. Isaac’s robots were “smart” and very humanoid.  Isaac’s A.I.s duplicated humanity and is some ways outshined us. They were not only Artificial Intelligences but they were conscious and supremely ethical as required by Asimov’s 3 laws of robotics: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. 

But lets get back to consciousness and try to define it. What is consciousness? We see it often defined as “the state of being awake and aware of one’s surroundings.” I prefer to think of it as being aware that I am regardless of whatever surroundings I may find myself in. This harkens back to the famously debated statement, “I think, therefore I am.”  Here, thought is used as a proof of one’s existence and perhaps mindfulness. Proving to oneself that you exist is also consciousness as I see it.  Can we create consciousness or is that “God given” only via a soul as some think?

We already have the ability to create sensory apparatus and motorized limbs that can closely duplicate many human physical endowments. What is appears to be lacking is the intellectual gifts that make a physical being animate itself. When we have the possibly soon to come capacity of creating nearly infinite memory with a holographic compression tool and a possible subatomic substrate, we will be one hand-697264_640step in the direction of creating the Asimov like A.I.  However, nearly endless memory is not enough. Human memory is prodigious and likely soon matched but it will not create self cognizance.

Perhaps what we now need is to add problem solving. As we grow from childhood to maturity our ability to solve problems grows with our experience. We come into this world programmed with the rudimentary skills to do this and we add to it with age and experience.  This can be programmed. What is left now to create a Asimov like A.I. may be consciousness?

When I say “I think therefore I am” it implies that I have a reason to think and this may be consciousness.  However if you mix memory with problem solving skills (a definition of intelligence) it is not likely to get up and fix your car without commands to do so.  It is not self commanding, so to speak.  What makes us self motivating?  At first blush this is quite simple, human need. A piece of metal and crystal with computer form has no clear needs; humans do. But what if it had? Would it become conscious?  We frail humans have many needs. Some of the more obvious are: food (fuel), shelter (pain avoidance), companionship and emotional gratification.  Would giving this to a computer create consciousness?  We could do this!

A computer could have pain sensors helping it avoid damage. Our cars already do in the form of crash detectors. Our cars also know when they are low on fuel, their food. Our A.I. with these skills might now avoid rain, walking into deep water and running out of fuel. It will to some extent be self activating but not conscious. What if we programmed it with a need to have companionship and to see the benefits of working in teams with beings like itself? It could be programmed to “instinctively” form robot tribes to protect itself from the pain of destruction by competitive A.I.s eagle-1245681_640who might take its fuel and shelter if these needs were in short supply.  It would likely now be more self activated but still not conscious. What now if we add emotional needs? It is quite possible to program an inner pain when other A.I.s out perform it in group activities such as searching for fuel etc.  We could even program in some “boasting” into
A.I.s that would create “jealousy” in other A.I.s.  We could in fact, create “pride feelings” in those who achieve more. We could program in competitiveness too, perhaps as a desire to soar with the eagles.  However it is not likely to lead to self awareness.  What is still missing?  How about death?

We could design in an inevitable death in which the CPU-Mind simply degrades and stops functioning as a process of memory overloading or randomness inherently created by the repetitive use of its subatomic substrate. In other words it wears out at the subatomic level by being overwhelmed from its self created complexity.  If you don’t like this cause, we can come up with another one more suitable however the bottom line is it dies.  How will this affect possible consciousness?  The A.I. might begin to seek solutions to this issue, it could be self activating all the time.  Is that consciousness?  How about if we make it possible for the A.I. to have sex with an opposite sex A.I. to reproduce itself. Could we also create in its mind a sense of woman-1339124_640family and the special value of family?  Consider that we know trees do this!  Why not A.I.s?  We could even make it possible that each A.I. inherit certain A.I. characteristics from a parent A.I., like genetics. Successful A.I. lives could modify genes so that those inheriting them would be more likely to succeed at survival and reproduction. Would this now endow the A.I. with human consciousness like behavior?   I suspect we are getting close. The sexual behavior could also be sensually and emotionally rewarding so as to be a positive motivating experience as it can be for humans. It could also be only occasionally productive by programming.  The desire for sex would also end with the climax so that the A.I. would not be stuck in a pleasure seeking loop.  We could put this all under the control of a chemical charging system that creates urgency as charge builds in a system much like hormones. It might even be connected to the cycles of the moon and the timing created by the rhythm of the Schumann Resonance.  In this way the “need” to attempt reproduction (sex) would not be a constant.  The A.I. could be programmed to recognize its “child” as its link to immortality and a strength added to its tribe, since death is inevitable.

crucifix-1802224_640We should also create an intellectual skill allowing an A.I. the ability to “put itself in another A.I.’s shoes.” This could be the beginning of compassion and sensitivity. This ability to feel another’s pain, especially at death would add an appreciation for life and perhaps an urgency to live it well. With this programmed, an A.I. might one day say, “let he who has not sinned cast the first water!”

Would we now have consciousness?  It is beginning to me to look like the A.I. will behave in a conscious fashion. Would it now begin to wonder if it will have an existence after “death?” We could of course program an electromagnetic transport for an archive of its experience to a cosmic archive. From this archive we might even pass its experience to a subsequent generation of its family, though placing it at a lower subconscious level of mental access to increase its likelihood of survival after “birth”  or to create new born prodigies.

I think at this point the A.I. will be like Asimov’s.  Will it be conscious?  I am not sure but it makes me wonder if we are too!



Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved

As a writer,  character development is often a strong consideration in stories told. However my stories are more focused on unusual possibilities experiences and universes; nevertheless, character development is certainly of interest. In this TED talk about infidelity, character development is an important part of the story. I think you will find this as fascinating as I did.
Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved #TED : http://on.ted.com/r0b9T

Rethinking infidelity 5-05-22 20:29:49


Missing A Women Scorned

This story is fiction and the names are fictitious. The experiences however are based on those that have been shared with me with utter honesty and confidence. I will not break that confidence here but I share the experiences for the light they shine on the human soul, much of which is apparently composed of sex!

Missing A Women Scorned

I was 18 years old when I returned to Miami, Fla to visit my hunting buddies in Coral Gables. I had no idea, I was going to have an almost “dream date” with  Linda.  I was  about to learn how different men and women look at the world and  I would also learn what it means to say “Hell hath no fury like a women scorned!”Yellow lingerie

Jim, Richard and Jerry were the guys I had grown up with, my hunting buddies.  It was good to see them after a year away at the U. Of Fla up in Gainesville.  None of us had changed much in a year.

My wavy dark brown hair was still down below my shoulders then and though I did not know it, the girls thought I was really hot.  I had no concept of hot because I was a nerd.  I was a nerd before the term was ever used, but I passed well for a Hippy which everyone understood (I thought I was one too, mostly).

I lifted weights to try to look good for the girls because I was shy and needed to have girls come to me as I was afraid to go to them.  I had found that muscles and a tan made chicks come to me like moths to a lit candle.  Of course even without the weights, my swimming and hunting kept me pretty fit and I always had a dark tan.  But I had no idea that I was attractive to the opposite sex… that was part of being a nerd and 18, I guess.  It took me at least 15  years more to discover that girls found me good looking, perhaps that is normal.

I did not have a summer job that year and we were having a blast getting drunk at Rich’s house, hunting, fishing and occasionally smoking something other than cigarettes.  I did however miss the frat parties and my new girl friend, Nancy.  My new college friend Harry had dragged me into the frat house to help raise its grade point average.  In the process I found out what a social life meant; however, over summer in Miami there was now a sudden painful vacuum of girls and social life. However help was on the way and Harry was the answer.

Harry was rich,  had a big fancy home, stocked frig,  a pool and so we soon had parties. He lived in Miami, 20 minutes from my home.  If we had a party at his home,  his mom, Mrs B.,  would disappear after a few martinis. His dad, Mr B.,  worked late and never seemed to come home.  If he did come home, he did not care what we did, as long as we did not trash the house and soil the sheets on the beds. He too disappeared, conveniently. 

We were learning about sex and most of us, even though we were in our first year of college,  had never “done it.”   Okay we had played around in parked cars at the drive-in or in lovers lane but we had never done the real thing. I certainly had not.  It was the beginning of the Hippy Era and that would soon change but,  at that time, we were the transition phase; we started the Hippy Era as the “Beats” faded into the workforce.  As for me,  I was so naive that  I did not even know that people french kissed.  But, there were other things we were learning in our cars and that was good enough for most of us.  It turned out that Linda wanted more but not the more you would think about.

It was at Harry’s party that I again met Linda. She had been my High School girl friend before college.  She was now in secretarial school and she looked even hotter than in H.S. if that was possible.  Linda had big brown eyes that were even big by Margaret Keane’s Yellow lingeriestandards.  Looking into her eyes made my legs feel wobbly and blood flow from my head to somewhere else, you know.  That was just the beginning.  Linda’s lips were full and sexy, her nose could have been used as the model for those thousand dollar nose jobs and her skin was flawless.  Behind that beauty surrounded by long wavy brown hair was a real intelligence and personality.  Linda was fun to be with and her happy personality attracted everyone.

I guess I am still not telling you much that is important to this story  because, I forgot to mention that if you were a teenage guy,  below her neck had a magical impact.  Looking at her was kinda like pressing a remote control for male body sex organs.  I don’t know how big her chest was but it was more than enough to make a guy breath funny. The rest of her body was perfection and though I had never seen all of it at once, little did I know that I was about to.

When we saw each other a year after I graduated H.S., at Harry’s,  Linda and I instantly ran to each other and kissed and hugged.  We had great memories from H.S. and lots more to make it seemed.  We danced, swam in the pool and touched enough to make it hard for me to get out of the pool.  After that night we started dating regularly.  I saw Linda at least 3 or 4 nights out of the week.  Yes it was the era of free love but no we did not make love in the traditional sense. In fact not even according to president Clinton’s standards.  It was enough for me though.  I was not sure why we did as little as we did but I had never given it enough thought.  I was just happy to be with Linda.

It was summer!  I was happy to have time to play guitar, read sci-fi and go the the Art Movie Theater to see  Sydney Portieir in To Sir With Love and other great flicks. Of course  my friends  and I found lots of time to hunt in the Everglades, and spear fish off Crandon Park. Jim and I had build a small flat bottom boat in H.S. and we used the battery from his car to power its weedless electric outboard motor.  It was not impressive but it was fun. We took it out on Crandon Park and anchored over the coral reefs which were plentiful back then.  We could float over the reefs in our snorkeling gear for hours and just enjoy being in another world. There was no sound other than the occasional buzzing sound of a powerboat’s propeller at first loud and then  fading into the distance.  Surrounded by schools of parrot fish or clouds of angel fish, it was like a trip to another planet.  It almost beat girls; well maybe not. I brought back lots of amazing catches from the ocean at Crandon Park.  Most of them seaweed.  The colorful fish we saw were not edible but occasionally we did spear some lunch.

We had a great summer that year back in ’65 but it went fast. Suddenly it was the end of summer vacation and Linda called me unexpectedly. I usually called her. Girls did not call guys much back then.   She said, “My mom and dad are out of town seeing my grandma up in Orlando. They won’t be home till nearly midnight and I am lonely! Could you come over?”  If miracles ever happen, this seemed to be the day for one.  It was late afternoon and I had no trouble getting cleaned up and over to her place in under and hour, with lots of cologne on.   I was a bit nervous as I parked in front of her garage, looking for signs that her parents might have come home; but unfortunately I could not see into the closed garage.  I walked up to the door with my heart beating faster than normal and rang the bell.  In seconds the door opened and I finally got to see all  of  Linda.  She wore a see through baby doll nightgown that covered absolutely nothing.  My whole body was suddenly burning as if I had been out in the sun too long.  I looked at her big turned up breasts and pert nipples and even for a nerd, knew what she was thinking.  Then I looked up at her face and saw a smile that said she knew she owned me. There was something too mature in that smile but I did not then  know how to put defining words to that observation.  I went in through the door hoping no one else had seen what I had seen.  I looked back over my shoulders to be sure; but, there was nobody in sight.

She kissed me in a way I had never been kissed before, yes she new about French Kissing.  Then she led me to a large spacious couch surrounded by burning candles, incense and two bottles of wine.  The glasses were already full as she was wasting no time.  There was music playing softly.   Somewhat unconsciously  I was beginning to realize that I had no idea what I was getting into.  My head kept my mind from thinking and the wine helped too. Little by little she took off my clothes as we kissed, hugged and touched.  I was afraid to take hers off as there was really nothing to remove;  besides my hands had learned well from Helen Keller.   At this point the wine had done its job and I had stopped thinking with my mind.  Linda helped with my indecision and took off her transparent wrap. She pulled me down onto her as she lay upon the couch, kissed me passionately and pulled me towards her by holding my butt with both hands.

For some reason, I have never quite understood, a light went off in my wine soaked brain and I pulled back and said, “Linda, I have no rubbers!  Do you?”  She said, “Don’t worry, odds are nothing will happen other than fun!”  The light got brighter but the brain had no real cue what was going on and would not for years to come.  I pulled away feeling real pain between my legs,  I got my clothes and started to put them on;  which was very hard in my state.   Linda glared at me from the couch, now sitting up and looking like she was a cat about to pounce on a mouse.  I stupidly said, “Linda, I love you and do not want to take a chance on getting you pregnant.”   With that said, I was out the door, into my car and on my way home.  Little did I know that she did not really appreciate my concern for her long term happiness; she felt scorned.  As you will soon see, this had consequences.  It took me many years later to understand how Linda had felt and only because Nancy told me about it!

That was not the end of my interaction with Linda however. There was to be one more episode.  I did not see Linda for the next two weeks.  Then I left for college without a word to her or from her.

A couple of months into my second year I got a call from Linda.  She wanted to come up and visit.  It did not occur to me that she might be anything different then the girl I had known before in H.S.; but,  her visit was about to be a big surprise to me.  I told Linda I would be available to the next 3 weeks but on the fourth I was going up to Orlando to visit my parents.  She said she would let me know when she would be coming.  I did go out and buy some 4x rubbers, just in case.  However,   I never heard from her and frankly I was so busy with school and Nancy,  I forgot about the conversation.

When I got back from Orlando, late Sunday night,  my big brother, Ted was there to greet me.  Now Ted was a great guy without a mean bone in his body.  He was only 5 foot 5 inches but solid as a rock from weight lifting. I was 5 foot 9 inches and I wore boots that made me nearly 6 foot tall.  Ted stopped me as I walked through the crowed entry room where everyone was hanging out, drinking and  listening to the Jukebox.  He had a funny look on his face.  He shook my hand and said he was glad to see me.  Then he asked, “did you not remember that your girlfriend Linda was coming up this weekend?”  I was shocked for a moment and then I recalled that I had told her specifically that I would be away in Orlando.

Ted continued, “She came up Saturday afternoon just before the party and told a few guys who she was.  She asked where you were?  We told her you were away.  She then said that you were a nice guy and she would miss you but with a frat house full of guys, she was sure she could have a fun night! Then she said,  that she wanted to stay for the party and asked if they would mind?  She is really hot and who could say no?  Well she got pretty drunk and decided to test her oral sex  skills on nearly every guy in the house!”

At that point, I forgot who I was talking to and rage ripped through my heart!  I pulled back my right arm ready to punch his lights out but he caught my hand easily and held me frozen.   Ted said, “Joe, you know better than to do that!  I may be shorter but I am way out of your class in a fight; not to mention that you are not really mad at me so calm down.”   He was right of course but  I was angry.  I thought for a moment and I just could not understand  why would he tell me such a lie!  Ted grabbed my other arm, pulled me over to the hall and led me down to my room.  We went in and I was pleased that he closed the door to the laughing faces, who were looking at me,  and the music of the Jukebox which was now no more than noise.

I threw my bag on the floor and sat on the bed feeling depressed and angry.  Ted sat across from me on my roommate, Steve’s bed.   I said, “Why would you tell me such a story, it is not funny! ”  Ted said, “It is not a story it is the truth and I wanted to tell you before the rest of the guys did, so you would be prepared for the teasing you will be getting.  I stopped for a moment to think and looked into his unflinching brown eyes.  There was no malice there and what I saw was my old friend again, my “big brother.”

It took me a moment to get my courage together and I said, “Thanks Ted,  I am sorry I lost my cool.  I just cannot believe she forgot what I told her and came up when I was gone.”  Ted smiled and said, “that’s Okay Joe,  now hang out in your room,  if you need to,  and it might be better if you just went to bed early.  The guys are all drunk and they will just say stupid things to piss you off, even though tomorrow they would regret it.

Tomorrow will be a busy school day, everyone will be busy thinking about academics and they will quickly forget Linda while some new fantasy arises.”  I thanked him, shook his hand and gave him a bear hug.  He was a good friend. I took his advice too.  I had a couple of shots of Jack Daniels Green Label and went to bed.  My roommate Steve must have come in late and I never heard him.

The next evening was Monday and we rarely partied on a Monday night but Ted had arranged to clear the dining room after dinner and have a Wesson Oil party.  Everyone got drunk and many of my crazy frat brothers  slid bare assed across the dinning room floor as our house mother, martini in hand,  looked on (she was nearly 70 and had no problem with us as long as we did not set fire to the house).  There were a few girls who had come for dinner with their boyfriends and they joined in the nude sliding  too.  There was now some new hot sexy news!  That was enough to distract everyone from Linda’s activities and create new stories for the next few days.  Linda was soon history and I put it out of my mind when I saw Nancy’s beautiful face the next Saturday night at our weekend party.  Life went on. There was something new that I discovered in Nancy, that previously I could not have named.  Linda was hot; but, Nancy was not only hot, she was special.  Though Linda was my dream image of sex, Nancy was my dream image of someone I could spend my life with.  Not only was she pretty and sexy but she was intelligent and compassionate.  There was a warmth that came from within, something that would still be there when we were 80 and looking like prunes.  Something that would grow with the years and get better rather than fade.  I could not have explained that then but I can now.  Nancy and I never quite made it to the hitching post as things happened but we never hurt each other as Linda did to me.

Twenty years later, when I was living up in Chicago,  I got a call from Linda.  I had forgotten all about her coming up to the Frat house, getting drunk and doing what she did.  I was married to Anne.   Linda wanted to see me for old times sake.  I was not sure I wanted to see her as I was happy with Anne and could see no reason to meet.  I asked Anne what she thought and she said she was fine with it,  if I was.  I asked Anne to come with me and she laughed and said, “If you really are curious go by yourself and stop being so shy!”

I am not sure why I went but I did meet her for lunch at Tad’s steak house.  She brought her daughter, Susan, who was just finishing H.S.  It was to say the least, uncomfortable.  I had nothing to say to Linda and I was not very adept at small talk.  I was not sure why I was there and I was not sure why she was there. She smiled and was pleasant but she had gotten old.  She was no longer sexy and there was just “nothing” for us to share.  She was not attractive to me at all.  I was very happy when she said she had a train to catch and left with her daughter.

Twenty more years passed and my college girlfriend, Nancy,  who lived in Fla still,  had found me on Facebook.  We had taken up corresponding a bit now and then.  We were both lots older and somewhat wiser and it was fun to occasionally have an opinion on life other than Anne’s.  You know how it is; it is sometimes easier to listen to a casual friend than your wife. At least sometimes.  Anyway,  being in touch with Nancy reminded me of all my long lost friends. We got to messaging and I mentioned the story about Linda. I had not thought about it in years and I still could not quite put the pieces together.  I was however  reading an article in the psychology magazine I had agreed to edit and there was a similar story there.  So it reminded me of Linda and I told that to Nancy,  which I never had done.  She wrote me back and said, “Beware of a women scorned, you never know what she will do!”

Well 40 years later,  I had acquired some wisdom and it suddenly made sense, with Nancy’s help.  Linda did not forget what weekend, that I was going to be away; no, she planned on being there when I was away and showing me that she would get every guy around to want what I had turned down!  She wanted to hurt me as I had unintentionally hurt her!  She has succeeded to some extent but at a cost, I cannot imagine.  I was not angry but I did feel sorry for her.  I learned later that she had apparently gotten pregnant by the guy who came after me and, of course,  “by accident.”   That was her way of getting what she wanted.  She did not get me and I am happy it turned out that way.  I have often wondered what made me get up and leave.  Any sane teenager would not have done what I did.  I figure God had another plan for me as I could not credit myself with such intelligence or strength against such hot sexy beauty.

It just amazes me, even at this age, that our world is so driven by sex.  What is more amazing is how dumb we guys are and how easily we are  manipulated by the “weaker sex.”

Janr Ssor.