Janr Ssor: Second Date

Pawling Public Radio releases my story “A SECOND DATE” after playing it this last month for its listening Audience.  Its now available worldwide on Mixcloud and below for your enjoyment.


Pawling Public Radio Interviews Janr Ssor

Mike Bergquist, Pawling Public Radio show host and engineer interviews Janr Ssor.  Listen To The Interview here!

The topic is his book,  “The Final War,”  a Janr Ssor adventure.  Another question what was the inspiration for the Janr Ssor book series, an e-book, now available in almost every book store.

Listen here and experience a sneak preview to the Janr Ssor series and is mystical, biblical underpinnings.

Get and idea of Janr’s unique experience with growing up with PSI skills that lead him to a view of the universe that very few people have experienced before.




Dreams Are Symbolic! ….. don’t steal my comforting belief!

Are Dreams Just Symbolic? Learned men, of significant stature, assure us that our dreams are nothing more than symbolic and expressive venting of our emotional life experience! I have trouble with this concept; because I believe in Dragons. Dragon Vector IllustrationMaybe you should too!

Lucid Dreams Prove Symbolism? In “The Source Field Investigations“, David Wilcock offers carefully explained concepts taken from Dr Stephen LaBerge’s dream research.  LaBerge teaches us  how we  can transform our routine dream experience to Lucid Dreams and in so doing, take control of their outcome.   In the process, he explains,  the symbolism of your dream experience may become  more manifest.  He describes this in an example of  the ogre, who is about to beat you to death, being  transformed by your spiritual love, into a flash of light that melts into your own body and vanishes. Now, LaBerge says, you know the ogre was a dream projection of a part of yourself, that you had yet to forgive and accept, nothing more.  We are then told, that researchers who study dreaming find strong agreement in the symbols and the symbolic nature of dream experiences.  This is an elegant  integration of psychology and dreaming for those who need fairy tales;  but, again I must say that I believe in dragons!  In his book,  “Supernatural: Meetings with the Ancient Teachers of Mankind,” Graham Hancock explores both his own personal journey and years of study by  many researchers. In this story, Hancock,  finds that symbolism crosses cultures,  religions, time and space to bare witness to an alternative plain of existence, rather than a common archetypal symbolism as portrayed by Carl Jung.  In my book, “Not Kid’s Games,”  I explore the consequences of the infinite paths of an infinite universe.  If you have yet to read my “Science fiction” book, Not Kids Games,  than for just a moment, fill your mind with its  foundational research,  slip into the path of its comet like ride and see the universe from another perspective!

Not Kids GAmesThe Consequences Of Thought.  Think for a moment, outside the box with me, and envision a world that is not just holographic but built of infinite infinities,  then lets look at the consequences and we will find where my dragons live!

  • In a holographic universe, every point has all the knowledge of every other point; but, like a Jpeg image, it begins to fade and lose detail as it is compressed smaller and smaller.  So here in our tiny bodies (Jpegs) we clearly experience the  world of our own local ongoing creation but only vaguely sense being part of the infinite consensual universe. This gives us a laser like focus on our “unique”  journey in our special reality and yet a feeling for our ultimate origin and destination in death.
  • Now lets consider Nassim Haramein’s concept of infinites bounded by finite space. If you understand,  much as Nassim Haramein teaches, that an infinity can be found in a finite space, you will realize that there is not one universe but surely a multi-verse (which to me means an infinite number of universes of infinitely large or small size).  Wow!  That is a lot to ponder but its consequences are worth trying!  Trust me on this and I will elaborate as we go on.  For now just think of infinite universes by picturing each universe as grain of sand, when seen from afar. Now in your mind’s eye toss that infinite sand into infinite space. Remember the concept of a Galaxy contained in a Jewel such as that on the “belt”  worn by the cat, Orion,  in  the movie Men In Black?
  • Spinoza.  Add one more ingredient to our stewing thoughts and we will complete the recipe for a land where Dragons may be as real as you and I (for whatever that means). Recall how Spinoza explained the Ultimate Substance (cosmic consciousness) as containing everything in order for it to be God Like and therefore omniscient as well as omnipotent?  If this is true then every thought, every dream, every picture in your mind, in all its infinite variations,  must truly exist, for without it, fractalthe cosmic is not omnipotent nor is it omniscient. Another way of understanding  this is to consider what you see when you stand between two parallel mirrored walls. As you gaze into the “unending” fractal like image of yourself and anything else in that space, the endlessly repeating images may seem to curve away and morph just slightly as they flow beyond our viewpoint.  Every object in the universe, every event in time, must have a nearly perfect duplicate with some small variation, or else the universe we live in is not infinite.  [the mind expanding graphic at the left can lead you to more help on understanding fractals at the fractal foundation, its origin]

My dragons are hungry, as it is early morning in Narangia.  I can hear them beating their leathery wings against the bronze bars that form the gates to their stables.  It is  located just before the bridge in front of our castle.  They know this will get my attention and I will come and feed them.  Then I will take one chosen one, as is my habit, for a flight high over our city walls.

Now that you have eaten my my mind-filling stew, rich in esoterics , what happens when you dream of the Ogre?  You recall, the Ogre with the steel like death grip around your neck, who is about to beat you to death?  When you now express infinite love for all living beings and beam that from your eyes to his soul, he again melts into your being and all is well;  but, it no longer means that he is a small mundane projection of you, that you are dealing ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????with on Freud’s Couch.  Now instead it is your real experience in one of the infinite universes. An experience in which the flash of light is your death from his wrecking ball like fist  and the merging is now your return to the cosmic. In the cosmic you find awareness of your true self,  your infinite nature no longer compressed to a Jpeg of human existence.  For the moment, you are dead physically but alive spiritually.

It may be true that the objects in your dream were  experienced because of your mental state, created my external or internal frustration (stimuli). They are easily labeled “symbolic.”  On the other hand, your mind may have tuned into the infinite experience that the universe (cosmic consciousness) knows!  Though it can be symbolic to you, it is as real somewhere in the universe as is your awakening in a sweat, with ice cold skin and an ache in your stomach.  When you are half awake in your miserable state of sleep crying,  “no more, no more”  it is because you are tired of death and re-birth to a new world with hidden pain as well as some pleasure.  For a moment you recall that, like the fractal image above, you are born over and over,  a small probe launched into the cloud of reality to bring back knowledge of one variation on experience. As you bask in the all knowing light of the Cosmic, for a moment, before you consciousness re-compresses to a Jpeg,  you understand the dream of infinity!  You know there is dark and there is light, there is cold and there is hot, there is infinitely big and infinitely small.

The universe (reality)  is, as Nassim Haramein says, perhaps being created and destroyed by a toroidal rotating field of energy, a  3-D version of the flat oscilloscope image.  From the infinitely large, your true self for a timeless instant,  you are now again compressing to an infinitely small dot of  Jpeg consciousness in the endless storm of the sea of life’s adventure.   Every symbol in the dream of life or the dream of sleep,  is an attunement of your mind adjusted to the symbols vibrational frequency like an FM radio.  As you tune into each “station,” the  meaning of its story is best gathered by your experience, in which you feel the pain or joy of its alternate reality.  If it was a ‘bad” dream, and you cry “no more pain, no more pain” it is up to you to change the channel.

Something to think about.


Free EBooks! – 14 days only

To Celebrate the publication of my 8th Book, THE FINAL WAR  I am giving away  free book purchase coupons for the next two weeks…only.

This Coupon:  gets you “The Final War” at no cost …but expires in 14 days, so use it now!

To get the book,  copy the coupon code below and paste it into the order page,  then download your Ebook to your device.

book cover for the final war

book cover for the final war

Promotional price: $0.00
Coupon Code:    PK72A
Expires: May 17, 2013


From the first page The Final War grows in intensity as two interwoven story threads reach a crescendo.

Someone or something is killing the peacemakers of Earth and time is running out quickly!

At the same time, the people of Earth are hurdling down a path to a war to end all wars. Somehow the two plots appear connected and may have something to do with the discovery of an ancient civilization’s vacant city recently found under the grounds of Mars.

The conflict however, is fought in more than one dimension and how it will end will keep you hanging till the last page


This Coupon:  gets you “JANR SSOR’S – ANTHOLOGY”   at no cost …but expires in 14 days, so use it now!  To get the book,  copy the coupon code below and paste it into the order page,  then download your Ebook to your device. Janrs -  Anthology 05 -final

Promotional price: $0.00
Coupon Code:   UK36K
Expires: May 2, 2013


Janr’s anthology is a taste treat, as it is a variety box of mind candy. Each story is so unique that it will seem as if it was written by a different author; yet, you will recognized Janr’s uniquely descriptive style, one that will leave you feeling as if you have just watched a movie.

These are the 4 stories: “The Touch” explores the meaning of death and its consequences, in “A First Child’s Plan” Mars has a hidden history that will change our future forever, “The 4 Elements Of War” are dramatically unique mystical warfare that determines Earth’s future and finally “A Second Date”, is a human experience with rediscovering love.

Janr Ssor’s – Anthology (just released)

Janr Ssor’s – Anthology – Preview This Story (soon) – Buy This Book.Janrs -  Anthology 05 -final

Janr’s anthology is a taste treat, as it is a variety box of mind candy. Each story is so unique that it will seem as if it was written by a different author; yet, you will recognized Janr’s uniquely descriptive style, one that will leave you feeling as if you have just watched a movie.

These are the 4 stories: “The Touch” explores the meaning of death and its consequences, in “A First Child’s Plan” Mars has a hidden history that will change our future forever, “The 4 Elements Of War” are dramatically unique mystical warfare that determines Earth’s future and finally “A Second Date”, is a human experience with rediscovering love.

Now available on Smashwords.com 


The Final War – By Janr Ssor, Just Released

THE FINAL WAR –  Preview This Story (soon) – Buy This

book cover for the final war


From the first page The Final War grows in intensity as two interwoven story threads reach a crescendo.

Someone or something is killing the peacemakers of Earth and time is running out quickly!

At the same time, the people of Earth are hurdling down a path to a war to end all wars. Somehow the two plots appear connected and may have something to do with the discovery of an ancient civilization’s vacant city recently found under the grounds of Mars.

The conflict however, is fought in more than one dimension and how it will end will keep you hanging till the last page.

Published:  4-2013 By Janr Ssor At Smashwords.com 

Compromise Is Not A Place Where Cowards Hide

If you are lucky enough to get older, you probably are rich in ways even well educated college graduates may not understand.  Perhaps even you may not be aware of it.  I have acquired some, and it sometimes feel as if I am swimming in a sea of  this wealth, even though it is hard to define and spend.    It is hard to define from day to day as it morphs and flows much like a river or a storm. Such is the contemplation of experience that some call wisdom but I sincerely cannot define as such, at least for myself.  However, I now more than ever,  understand what it means to say, “The more I learn, the less I realize I know .”  Yet I am unable to not try to understand that which surrounds me, even knowing that tomorrow, I may redefine what I thought was true today. wedding hands

Imagine for a moment,  how lonely it would feel to fall from an airplane into an ocean and be surrounded by endless seas,  with nothing but the slight security of your life jacket. This is how experience feels to me at this point in my life. It makes me wonder if there is another level of learning before the end of this physical life.  If there is, I hope it is where you discover cabinets designed to store this knowledge  and a Dewy Decimal System to classify it. Better yet a “Google 3” to help you access it in a quick and meaningful fashion. What does this have to do with cowards and compromise?

One experience I will attempt to share with you, as I am trying to sort it all out, is relationships.  Think back in your life to a special family relationship,  a marriage or a close friendship; perhaps a relationship with someone who attracted you by their unique and special style.  Sometimes it is hard to immediately note what was so special about this person as it was likely several things. They may have kept their house immaculate and decorated with colors that blended, harmonized and coordinated to express their artistic sensitivity.  If it was, remember how much you enjoyed lounging in that comfortable chair surrounded by the warmth of this microcosm of peace beauty?   You may recall  putting  your hand down to rest and becoming aware of  a beautiful small table, right there, with a cool drink to calm the heat of that summer’s day.  How balanced,  calm and peaceful it was.  A lot of thought went into this.  If this was the home of a lady you were dating,  this might have catalyzed the dream that made it a permanent relationship. And then you just might have moved in together.

Within a year or so, though the environment she created is still enchanting,  it was hard to remember to put a coaster under you glass,  and not to leave your magazines on the shiny glass topped table (that surely was meant for magazines like yours). As for the laundry machine,  that was 10 years old and still looked show room new,  though you took pride in helping with the laundry,  the dust of laundry soap that accumulated around the rubber gasket could not be tolerated.  Much as it says it the bible,  you discovered there was work required in the Garden Of Eden and you were to be one of its workers. If not thorn bushes would grow.  Such is the compromise of close relationships, a place where cowards cannot hide. Somewhere in this process deposits are made to your wealth account, though you will be unlikely to get a monthly statement.

To create beauty and harmony, in music, art or in a home requires dedication, practice and desire.   This imaginative calm world is an expression of an inner yearning for peace and harmony that seeks appreciation from its creator and her admirers. Those who demand such perfection in their surroundings  also give near perfection in much that they do.  They are often good partners in life  who choose not to simply float downstream with other random objects.

You can live by yourself or with others, it is a choice. I don’t believe anyone lives in magical harmony. Those who claim otherwise lie, or one spouse lives in denial of their dreams.  In the Judeo-Christian bible a women’s place is following her husband’s lead and his place is caring for her needs. It is the magic circle symbolized by a wedding ring.  It is the biblical recognition of the complexity of living together as husband and wife and a hint at how to achieve it.  In less intimate relationships, where less time and space is shared, the demands are less but not so dissimilar.  The children of people who choose not to float down stream with the current,  can move out and stay away or be part of and learn to grow.   As I see it, we can live alone or live in a compromise. Compromise is not a dirty word or a place where coward hide.

Janr Ssor

Hey You, Jew Boy!

Steve Kogan and I were classmates who liked to play pool, when we were 12 years old.  His father was a rich man who picked me up in his big Cadillac to spend the day with Steve.  Some people who lived near me liked to call it a “Jew Canoe.”   It was of course a derogatory term.  On the way to the hotel he said something like, “You like the car, Joe?”

I said, “Yes it is pretty amazing.  I have never been in a car that felt like my mom’s living room.”  We were never allowed in the living room unless it was a special cadillacoccasion; after all the furniture was only for company.  The furniture was covered with clear plastic to protect it from the inevitable accidents kids cause.  It was good furniture,  the kind that took you years to pay off, as I understood.

Mr. Kogan said, “Life is all about making money!  That’s how you get a nice car like this and build a successful department store, as I have done.”   My dad had a different opinion so I was a bit shocked but I kept quiet.  My dad had taught me that millionaires like Mr Kogan, had stress,  heart attacks and misery.  The love of money was the root of this evil, he said,  and the helping people was much more important.  I was proud of my dad,  he had been a medic in WWII and had gone out unarmed in the battle field to help those who were critically wounded. He was a community leader who started businesses and when they made money,  left to start another.  We were not wealthy like Mr. Kogan.

Mr.Kogan said, “We are going to stop at my Department store on the way over to the hotel where you can spend the day.  I always am there just as we open to make sure all my workers are there and everything is running well.  In Puerto Rico,  running a great business was a magical trick as siestas and a laid back style of life were the common routine.  After all, the midday sun was scorching and it put me to sleep as I sat at my student desk studying for my classes.  The fan helped but only the very wealthy had the newfangled device called air conditioning.  So getting people to work all day was not very easy.

Mr. Kogan pulled the car to the curb in front of a impressive glass window filled with fashionably dressed manikins.  Big letters that appeared to be sculpted of stone floated above the chrome and glass doors.  There they  formed the words, “New York Department Stores.”  We had arrived.  Mr. Kogan opened the doors for me and Steve  and carefully led us across the street to avoid the hazards of  the cars and horse drawn wagons full of tropical fruits and vegetables. As we entered the store, which did have the magical thing called air conditioning,  the sounds of the wagon drivers calling out “Mangos, Avacados, Canepes,”… faded in the distance.

It was 1956 and we were surrounded by man made weather.  It was magical!  My whole body breathed a sigh of relief as the early morning heat and humidity vanished like steam from a shower.

In front of us was a vast room with counters that seemed made of the finest decorative materials,  which at that age I could not name,  but could appreciate.  On each counter was glass display cases filled with beautiful watches, jewelry and cosmetics.  Further in the distance you could see hanging signs alerting you to new fashionable clothing and shoes.  Behind each counter as far as the eye could see, stood an employee looking up at Mr. Kogan as we entered.  For a moment it was almost like looking at an army standing at attention as the general entered for inspection.  I was a little awestruck and a bit uncomfortable, not knowing what do do.

Mr. Kogan looked down at me, noting my discomfort and grabbed my hand with his left hand leading me forward down the long and seemingly threatening isle.   He then looked up and smiled at all his employees and began to walk slowly down the long isle calling out  good morning to each and every one of them by name.  They all smiled and greeted him  and some of the women reached over to hug him.  The long isle was no longer threatening. It was transformed into a sea of friendly faces at a party that was just about to start.  I my heart felt funny and my eyes moist but I was not quite sure why.

After a long slow walk with lots of brief and warm conversations, some in Spanish and some in English  (both of which I spoke)  we ended up in the back.  We entered a small simply furnished room with desks,  fling cabinets and a few people talking on phones.  Through the open back door we could see the loading dock where workers were unloading a truck.  Mr. Kogan showed us to some well worn leather chairs and went out back to greet the delivery men.

He came back in a few minutes and sat down across from me and Steve and said, “So Joe,  how do you like my department store?”

I thought for a moment as my head was swimming with new experiences.  I said, “I think it is very impressive!  My dad has a few optical stores and I am very proud of him, but this is huge and awesome.”

Thinking about my dad’s concern for the stress and misery that can come with money, I want to ask him a question too.

I said, “Mr. Kogan,  what is it that you like best about your business?”   He looked at me and his eyes seemed to mist over as he smiled and he said, “I would never miss a day of walking into the store as it opens!  I love all my employees and the greetings that we share every morning. There is nothing in the world worth more.  On the other hand, it is a great responsibility and at times it raises my blood pressure and keeps me from sleeping.  You see, the store not only takes care of me and my family but it clothes, houses and feeds my hundreds of workers.   I am in many ways responsible for the lives of all my workers.  If I fail,  they fail, and they may lose their homes and everything they have worked so hard to achieve.  It is a great responsibly.  As you get older you will discover that most things in life are dual edged swords.  One side helps you cut down sugar cane to sell and prosper but the other side can cut off you hand if you are not careful. ”

He smiled and again seemed to be looking a thousand miles away.  Then he looked back at us and said,  “Okay kids lets go!  You are going to have a great day at the El San Juan!”

Missing The Aliens Among Us

If you met an alien on the street would you recognize them?   I am going to bet your dog might but you might not!  It is not that your dog’s sense of smell or sight is better; it is really about what you have preconceived in your mind that is blinding your eyes.  But, before we get into that lets just see if you can recognize the living from the inanimate.

Until recently, the oldest documented seed that has grown into a viable plant was a Judean date palm seed about 2,000 years old, recovered from excavations at Herod the Great’s palace on Masada in Israel. It was germinated in 2005.  Would you have believed that a seed  2,000 years old, buried in the soil could still be alive?

Recently a team of Russian researchers found ancient  squirrel burrows exposed on the bank of the lower Kolyma River, an area that had been full of life before the last ice age.  Soon after the squirrels dug the burrows,  they were sealed with windblown earth, buried under 125 feet of sediment and permanently frozen at minus 7 degrees Celsius.

Though plant seeds found there failed to germinate,  cells taken  from the placenta, the organ in the fruit that produces the seeds,  were cultured  in dishes  into growing into  whole plants!  The plant has been dated to over 32,000 years of age.

When you think about it,  how long can something stay “alive.”   And,  what is life anyway?   When I was in elementary school they tried to define life for us in a simple way.   They said, life was characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.   Since then the definition has grown,  at least in some people’s minds!   You cannot usually change a definition  but you can intuitively understand what was meant in defining it and then know that it needs to be broadened.    For many people,  Viruses are small forms of life but not to all.   Many in virology would say,  “Viruses are not living things.   The say, viruses are complicated assemblies of molecules, including proteins, nucleic acids, lipids, and carbohydrates, but on their own they can do nothing until they enter a living cell. Without cells, viruses would not be able to multiply. Therefore, viruses are not living things.”   Is this correct?  Is it what you intuitively believe?   Another viewpoint  is that there are many ways that viruses show active life.  For example, some work by injecting themselves into a cell and then hijacking the cells  internal factories to produce their products.  Now think about this. “Injecting themselves into a cell!”  This is an Active Process…. which to me denotes life.   Now you can argue that the virus is “active” only once it is in the human body,  which is the living thing.  However lets look at the human body.   If we are put in a sealed vault with out air, food and water,  we are not active and not living…for long.   However, when a human is kept in adequate atmospheric pressure,  provided with moisture,  water and other living organisms to consume,  it may stay viable and remain living.   So humans cannot live outside a carefully selected and balanced environment any more than a virus can.   Viruses however can remain alive even when in a hostile environment (not surrounded by adequate atmosphere and nutrition),  however we cannot.   Is that a stretch for you?  You say the virus has no digestive,  respiratory organs?     Well think again.  We have more cells in our body that are NOT our body then are “our body.”   The human body has 10x more microorganisms in our gut then our whole body is made of!   Without these cells we could not live for long.   So we digest food and protect ourselves from “bad”  microorganisms (germs) by the use of living organisms we live in,  like a virus does.   Maybe you say that is not true,  they live in us,  not we in them!   Is that true?   I think not.  When you look at what you call “outside”  our body you discover that the skin is encased in bacteria that keep you from infection.  In fact,  if you use too much of these “stupid”  anti-bacterial soaps we sell on your body you will be prone to illness and infection because you lack the bacteria that keep you healthy!   What is the border of our bodies?  I find it hard to define.

Now lets get back to finding aliens.    To find an alien we must first recognize them as life forms.   If you have followed my thoughts above, you will see that this definition process when taken back to the original intent of the author is not so easy to define.   Sure you can stick rigidly with the words that were first used but this is to just hide in a corner and ignore the “intent” of the definition.   So, if we have trouble defining life how will we recognize an alien one?    What if this alien one does need living intelligent beings to “host” its survival in our world?   What if this alien is  made of energy patterns and not physical material?   Perhaps as it visits our world it  does so by being part of your body just as your gut bacterial do.   So, it may be part of you and you do not even know it!   Perhaps it provides you with benefits such as intuition that keeps you alive.   It may be your sixth sense that warns you of danger.   Can you see this alien life  and can you define it as life?   I suspect not.    Now I am not saying this is where your intuition comes from but it could be.

Now lets take a quick look at a bigger picture.   Scientists recently found that bacteria in clouds help determine whether we get rain or not!   So part of our life support,  moisture and water,  come from the help of bacteria that are part of the living Earth.    Did I say “living Earth?”   Yes I did because,  I believe the Earth is alive;  this is part of the underlying theme of my book,  TIMELESS SEARCH.    Just as bacteria live in our gut and keep us alive,  we live in the Earth and depending upon our actions we strengthen or damage its life,  just as “good and bad”  bacteria affect us!

Could you identify and alien if it lived among us?   Would you recognize it?   Or, would your dog see it first in your aura?

I’d enjoy reading your thoughts on this, so please do comment!

Janr Ssor

Better Than Makeup And Designer Clothing

I had just started my practice a year ago. It was 9:00 a.m. Monday when 14 year old Susan Small arrived at my office, Holistic Vision Care, for her eye exam. Neither of us knew about the miracle that was about to occur. Butterflies probably do know but young eye doctors like me, who did not talk with butterflies, had to await the experience of a miracle to know it. Her mom held her hand as she walked slowly towards my exam room. My first impression was that she was in some way handicapped, as Susan walked with her head down almost as if she were trying to watch where her feet were aimed. Her pants and blouse were somewhat in shambles for a 14 year old girl. They were a bit wrinkled and almost looked like two unmatched parts of loosely fitting pajamas. Her hair hung limply on the sides of her face and was combed with an obvious lack of interest. As Susan entered my small well lit exam room she looked up, at least far enough to see my shoulders, and then to where I had directed her to sit in the exam chair. At that point I had learned something. Susan was wearing eyeglasses with somewhat thick lenses that clearly showed how nearsighted she was. However, I was quite sure the prescription had little to do with her posture as I could quickly read the insecurity in her body language.

Thirty minutes later we were through with her eye exam. She was a good patient but she spoke so softly, I often had to ask her to repeat her replies to my questions. I wrote her a new prescription and then told her mom that I would recommend the very high index lenses that would make her glasses look much thinner. To this her mom replied, “She wants contact lenses, too.”

I looked at Susan and I said, “Great, so what made you decide to get contact lenses?” Susan looked at her shoes and replied hesitantly, “My glasses are heavy on my nose and also my mom wants me to get them.” Now in my experience, to get contact lenses you need motivation. After all it is not normal to poke yourself in the eye and not blink. In addition, to really be able to get them in quickly, as when you are in a rush to get to school as most kids are in the morning, you need to practice lots! To get kids to practice, they needed motivation and Susan did not seem to have any I could hear. There was no enthusiasm in her reply. In addition, when children responded that their parents wanted them to get contacts, they almost never practiced enough to learn and usually quit out of frustration. However, I was going to give it my best shot, as I always did. I had a patient not show up so I had time to do her contact lens fitting. Back then I did nearly everything as we were a small office. I sat with her and patiently taught her how to not blink as she tried to put the lens on. Most girls her age wore makeup and were used to mascara brushes near their eyes. For them it was easy to learn to put on contact lenses. Not for Susan; she had never worn any makeup and she was nearly in tears when, thanks to God’s blessings, she accidentally got a contact in her eye. The learning process was very lengthy for her but I began to sense that she might actually have some reason to pursue this so I stayed with her. By the time we were through and she could at least crudely handle the lenses, I was getting anxious stares from my office manager-optician who was getting stares from patients in the waiting room. My final instructions to Susan was to wear the lenses every day and see me in a week with them on her eyes at least 8 hours. I told her mom to call if there was any challenge. I did expect a call

A week later, I had all but forgotten about Susan. And I have to tell you that writing what you will read next even though it is 30 years, later still bring tears to my eyes. When I pulled the next chart from my door and called Susan Small; a well dressed, stunningly good looking young lady walked proudly across the waiting room to my door. I was at first confused, until I saw her mom walking after her and then it hit me who she was! She looked me right in the eyes and smiled, with that disarming confidence that a beautiful woman has, and then sat in my chair with all the grace of a movie star. Now as I am typing this story for the eighth or ninth time over many years, I will tell you there are tears running down my cheeks. Back then, I had no idea what a hindrance it could be to look through thick glasses that made the world look small, somewhat distorted and out of reach. Seeing this change in her was much like seeing a Monarch butterfly emerging from a cocoon. Since then, I have always discussed the benefits of contact lenses with parents of children who are moderately nearsighted or who seem to not like wearing glasses.

There is a bit more to tell you however. Years later this very capable women moved to NYC and got an excellent well paying job. Each year she drove upstate to see me for her eye exams. It was an hour and fifteen minutes drive to Brewster, N.Y. but quite tolerable on highways. One day I got a call from her. She had torn her last contact lens and back then lenses were not disposable so you did not have spares. She need to come up that Saturday to get a new one. She wanted to know if I could rush it? I said sure. Because lenses were not as reproducible as they are today, back then you had to try on a lens and let us test in on you to be sure it was good. When Saturday came, I pulled her chart and contact lens vials off my door and called her name. I was going to have her try them on. When Susan stood up, it was with a lack of confidence in her step. Her head was a bit down as she walked towards my office. I gave her the lenses to try on and then I went back to finish my current eye exam.

Ten minutes later I again called Susan to check and see how her lenses were working. This time, to my amazement, when she stood up, she stood straight with her head up and walked as proudly as she had years ago. There was magic in the contact lenses! The magic was greater than any designer clothing or makeup artist could offer. The magic was making Susan not feel like an ugly duckling. No amount of clothing or makeup could take away the feeling of peering at a shrunken world that thick eyeglasses produce. Being able to take off the thick lenses that made her big eyes look small and get away from feeling “hidden” behind her frames had been a magical experience too. It was a painful experience that her memories had not forgotten even 15 years later.

Janr Ssor (aka Dr Joseph Ross)

copyright © 4/4/2012, Janr Ssor, Author